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Just A Few Things That I Ain t lyrics
Songwriters: Rotheray, David; Heaton, Paul;

When you called me a useless druggie
At least you got half of it right
When you called me a hopeless alcoholic
I m only hopeless after nine at night

And when I said you came staggering home blind drunk
If I didn t you d get terrible fright
And if this is the land of hope and glory
Where s the land of hope but not quite

I ve been scruff bag, dirt bag, always someone s binbag
But never been Bono or Sting
However I dressed, never really impressed
So they never got to hear a damn thing

I ve been bad man, sad man, certified mad
But never 007 or Saint
Trendsetter go getter, international jet setter
Are just a few things that I ain t
Trendsetter go getter, international jet setter
Are just a few things that I ain t

The time you told class I was a half wit
Was my very first 50%
Previous best in any other test
Was either stolen, copied or lent

And when you branded me and every single one of my mates
A waste of time and effort to teach
Why d you give us sums if our only hope was bums
On someone else s deckchair and beach?

I ve been smart arse, mardy arse, on and off a lard arse
But never been a legend to God
New thing, dumb thing, even last year s thing
Headbang, not even a nod

I ve been left-wing, secure-wing, lost stripes, gained winged
We ve never caused a lady to faint
Wideboy, ladyboy, read it in the paper boy
A few things they said that I ain t
Wideboy, ladyboy, read it in the paper boy
A few things they said that I ain t

When popularity soared, hometown and abroad
I spent most of it trying to breathe in
Always ill at ease, too willing to please
An inferior life s bargain bin

When you come from a background of bargain bins
You re bound to fear it ends where it begins
So when nation adored we felt more of a fraud
And too phoney to celebrate wins

I ve been scruffbag, dirtbag, always someone s binbag
But never been Bono or Sting
However I dressed never really impressed
So they never got to hear a damn thing

I ve been badman, sadman, certified mad
But never 007 or Saint
Trend-setter, go-getter, international jet-setter
Are just a few things that I ain t
Trend-setter, go-getter, international jet-setter
Are just a few things that I ain t
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